Why We Shouldn’t Fear Death (2024)

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” — Mark Twain.

You are going to die. That’s an inescapable reality. Death is undeniable. You’re maybe alive right now — having the time of your life. But one day, it will all be taken away from you. The somebody you are in the present will be a nobody in the future.

God only knows how much time you have left to live.

What a haunting realization that is — knowing that we are heading to rot in the grave. This is an uncomfortable truth in life. The reality is so scary that we avoid thinking about it. Even if we accept it, there’s still some part of us that wants to live forever. At least in my part.

Yes, death is horrifying. Super horrifying. No one wants to die. This is why people flock to spiritual religion. It promises them of an eternal existence believing that there is life-after-death. The idea is so enticing and comforting that they’re willing to do anything just to protect it.

Indeed, the idea of living forever and ever may sound alluring on the surface. But we are mortals. Departure from life is an inevitability. All of us are victims of it. The fabric of death is not something to be twisted.

However, while the actuality of death may be frightening as hell, it actually serves a value — a profound sense of value.

In Stoicism, Memento Mori is life-or-death important to have in mind. It means reminding that you are perishable. Memento means “reminder” and Mori means “death.” Hence, reminder of death. The Stoics believe correctly that instead of lamenting at this fact, we should instead learn to accept it as part of what makes things beautiful.

It’s so important to accept death because first of all, while the eternality sounds attractive, to be cognizant that life is fleeting is to remind everyone that our time here is limited. And it’s actually the limit of something that we zero in on the most important and reject what’s just frivolous and inconsequential.

You see, the problem with living forever and ever is that there’s absence of urgency. There’s no reason to get up from bed every morning; have healthy lifestyle; pursue goals; and love those people we care about. Everything would be a delay, if not, empty. Because after all, it’s not like it’s going to kill me; or those people are going to be around forever anyway. So why bother?

Not to mention, it could drive us crazy doing the same tasks, eating the same food, and being with the same woman/man infinitely.

Learning to accept or appreciate death is important because it’s how values are fundamentally formed. Hence, it gives meaning to life. It guides us to the right directions. It tells us what to pursue and what to avoid. It teaches us what is important and what’s not. As Steve Jobs said in his commencement speech:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

It’s the source of his drive to successfully create Apple in the first place.

It’s also the juice of a mother and father to provide love and care for their sons and daughters. It’s the motivating force of our heroes to sacrifice their lives in the name of freedom. It’s the go-to mindset of the most important people who have helped society move forward to sacrifice their comfort and pleasure for the sake of greater good.

Dr. Jordan Peterson, a renowned clinical psychologist was asked in a podcast: “How often do you gaze upon death, your own?” In which he answered: “All the time.” He said that the thought of it always reminds him that: “Time short, get at it. There’s things to do.”

Even Elon Musk himself doesn’t support the idea of living too long saying people couldn’t produce new ideas and because of this, humanity won’t advance. He said that personally, he isn’t afraid of dying thinking “it would come as a relief.” What an unbelievable notion this is to a man who wants to colonize Mars.

I remember back when I was 10 years old. I went through a phase of being deeply anxious about dying. It would scare the hell out of me whenever the thought arose. I still do now to tell you the truth. But unlike before where I considered it as a curse, I have slowly learned that it’s a blessing — that life and death are two sides of the same coin, so to speak. That is to say, you can’t essentially have one thing without the other. Just like you can’t generate electricity if you don’t integrate both positive and negative charges.

The Taoists know this very well illustrated in the Yin and Yang symbol. The Yang(white) representing order and the Yin(black) representing chaos. Each side consists of a dot of opposite color. This implies that the Tao which means the way of life, is contingent on coalescing the duo. To simplify, order and chaos are inseparable. In order for something to essentially exist, their unification is very important.

Happiness wouldn’t mean anything in the absence of pain. Sunny days wouldn’t feel so good if it wasn’t for rain. Light would not exist if there’s no darkness. And ultimately, life would’ve ceased to have any meaning without death.

Montaigne said that:

“To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.”

It’s true. The more I meditate on death, the less I linger over my miseries, grudges, fears, worries, and insecurities. And the stronger my freedom has become. I’m no longer a slave to the trivialities in life. They are fading into the distance.

That being the case, I should not be afraid of it anymore. We should not be afraid of it anymore. Instead, we should expend our remaining time for certain things that, in the hour of our demise, would make us feel joy rather than fear.

Ourpurpose here is to laugh at the oddsand enjoylifetothefullestthat when Deathcomes to take us, it trembles inourpresence.

We can either let the notion of death crumble us or cherish and seize the moments while we’re still alive. In other words, we can either die like a man or live like a coward.

Because in the words of Mark Twain,

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”